So, the first entry in the blog…I imagine more often than not people try to have that stand out, monumental first entry. I think this is not going to be one of them. I’m more of a stream of consciousness kind of guy when I write. Besides, things stay truthful that way. I’m sure as the entries go on, there will be embellishments to old anecdotes in an effort to re-write history in the way I see fit, but being the first entry it’s best not extrapolate too far…On to the real first entry.

I’m watching TV last night and seen a commercial that I’ve never seen before. Usually I’m channel surfing for a bit of nudity, or some interesting tidbit on CNN during commercials, but something told me I should watch this one. It was about a new mouse trap. For years people have been trying to build the better mouse trap and this company thinks they have it. The D-Con covered mouse trap. The whole premise of this thing is the mouse crawls into this little plastic box thinking that the food it smells is a dropped piece of manna, when in reality the morsel, while pleasant tasting, causes severe hemorrhaging and eventually kills the mouse. A little door slides down while the mouse is inside to prevent any attempted escapes and unfortunate messes. In itself, it’s not that deplorable. People have been poisoning “Pests” for years. The deplorable part of this is the taglines which they use to sell it. Their selling feature is “You don’t have to touch the mouse, or even see it!” at which point a beautifully manicured hand of some 18 year old hopeful starlet reaches down and gently lifts the box to dispose of it (being careful not to cover the brand name on the box of course). The entire voice over of the commercial is done by a demographically tested female voice guaranteed not to offend. It’s a voice that could pass for that of a therapist, or perhaps a late night escort.

Now, I’m all for not touching a plague ridden, flea infested creature, but the not seeing it is the part that got to me. My whole beef with the thing is, if you are willing to kill a breathing, walking, eating and shitting thing, at least have the spine to look at what you’ve done. It’s nothing more than the absolution of guilt in taking a life. Not that I’m a flag waving member of PETA that will only eat grass and wear the wool of sheep that has naturally dropped of it so as not to cause discomfort, but there should be some rules about this kind of thing. If you kill something, face up to the fact that you took a life, and it’s not a very pretty thing to look at.

Where I come from, certain year’s deer are considered to be pests as well. What I’m waiting for is some huge box with whatever deer eat stuffed into the back of it so they can be lured in, and then butchered by the Hack-o-Matic 5000 which deploys from the top and leaves you with 100 pounds of deer meat, it’s head nailed to a plaque so you can mount it in the den, and a nice throw rug to boot. Do you think people would stand for this? “Mommy, why are Bambi and his Mom wandering into that big black box?” Ask any hunter what death is like. They’ll usually tell you all the gruesome details if you ask nice. At least Joe in his flannel shirt with his 12 gauge gets his hands dirty and realizes what he did. I am not pro or anti-hunting in any way, but Joe can own up to the fact that he did kill something and he’s responsible. We, as a race, kill things. It’s in our natures. At least own up to the fact that you did it, realize the finality of it and move on.

Oops, that came out a little more cynical than was intended. The whole point I’m trying to make with this is we have to stop blinding ourselves with things we don’t want to see. Too many people walk through life blind and don’t realize it. If you’re going to kill the mouse, use Grandpa’s old mouse trap that’ll take your finger off if you do it wrong and leave you with all of the gory details to clean up later, or better yet, grab a shovel and chase the thing around your house like a madman (or woman, which ever you may be). Pretend that you are some suburban tribe leader trying to impress your followers and try to splat the thing against your wall like a fly on the windshield. It may just put things into perspective.

Of Mice and Men, slightly skewed, fairly distorted, and hopefully warped just enough to be appealing.