Welcome to the United State of Molobi.

So, I've decided (sorta) that I've had enough of phone calls for Willy and his grounds keeping service, and thus have let my phone be canceled. Every time you move there is a series of things you move with you. Electricity service (need that), water and gas (yup, need those too), TV (don't really need it, but kind of nice, but still entirely un-necessary (guess what is next to go)) and phone (not even a nicety...a way to be annoyed on a regular basis yes, but nice, no). I really don't need it, at all. Everyone who knows me knows how much I dislike that particular invention, and the only people who call me on my house line are people either trying to get me to spend money, or people who are trying to collect money, like the phone company. Piss on you Jack, I've unplugged. In this day and age, everyone has about 4 different ways of being reached, so I've just made myself have one less.

The fun thing about canceling the phone is the assumptions.

"Why don't you have a phone? Is it because you can't afford it?"

"Nope. I could afford it if I wanted it, but I don't need it."

"Come on, Is someone after you for something? Is that why you canceled it?"

"No, I really don't want it. I hate talking on it, and it is mainly a source of aggravation when you are trying to sleep off a bender from the night before and it won't stop ringing, and when you do answer it, it's someone from the afore mentioned bender asking what you are doing up so early after being out so late last night drinking. No thanks."

"Really?"

"No, I've been lying to you all this time. I'm secretly afraid of the secret government trolls listening to all the secrets about Area 51 I revealed to the telemarketers who call me. I've told them all the secrets, and now the trolls are filling my food with brain altering drugs that make me want to subscribe to all the phone extras and order pizza with fruit on it. Piss off."

Another awesome thing is you get a "get out of jail free card" when you don't have a phone and the box stores want to give you a credit card. Fill out the form and tell them that you don't have a phone number. They simply don't know what to do and tell you to go away. Almost as fun as telling them you are on welfare.

Ok, you're right. I actually gave up my phone for lent. Wait...when is lent? Do you have to give up something you enjoy for lent? I think priests should give up buggering little boys for lent. Personally, I gave up religion for lent, forgot where I put it, and haven't looked back since.

Watch out TV providers, you're going next year...

Oh, and Molobi is a real sovereign nation. Next time you see me at the bar, buy me a beer and I'll tell you all about it, and try to get you to become a citizen. Do it. You get a free cookie when you sign up.