It's Very Difficult to Think with a Head Full of Mucus.

Last night I was sitting around home watching all the pointless Sunday TV when it started to creep over me. I just wasn't feeling spot on. Started feeling rather warm even though I shouldn't have been, my stomach started having conversations with itself, and anything I tried drinking or eating had a taste not entirely unlike the bottom of a five year old, unwashed ashtray. The thing that I love about being a stubborn person is no matter how sick I get, I won't fall over, even when I know I should. I sat on my couch convincing myself it was just a little bit of food poisoning, or it was just sleep deprivation catching up to me, or a million other just as silly ideas.

As the night wore on, I realized this wasn't going to end anywhere good. I had been busy trying to eat, and as any stubborn person will attest to, it is a sight to behold. The steps basically go something like this:

10 If thought begins then print "I think I'm Hungry. Hard to say since I feel like shit, but I think so. I need to eat."
20 If 10=true then Move from chair/couch/bed toward the kitchen. This can either end as a full fledged meal or a glass of water depending on how sick or how stubborn.
30 If 20=true then prepare whatever it is you've decided is the best course of action, take 2 bites, or two sips, then promptly print "This tastes like shit. Must be something wrong with it", pour it down the drain/throw it out.
40 GOTO 20

We can all see the cycle here folks. After trying damn near everything in my house I was at the point of thinking "What can I make out of Parsley, Oregano and Sambuca?", when I just gave up. I had taken 2 bites out of everything in my fridge and cupboards (albeit, not a great supply of stuff in either), and decided to quit while I was ahead. I don't know what you can make out of Oregano, Parsley, and Sambuca, but I think I'm happier not knowing.

After dragging my "not sick" ass back to the couch is when I decided that it might be sleep deprivation. I hadn't got a whole bunch of sleep over the weekend, so that could be it. I pretty much convinced myself of this one for a few hours, to the point of believing that I was tired, until I threw on The Matrix at 12:30am, and on a completely different topic, had a five minute sneezing fit. Nah, I'm not sick. So, I watch The Matrix until 2:30am and decide, "Maybe it's not sleep deprivation, I'd be asleep by now if it was...Food poisoning, yeah, that's the ticket."

I wander upstairs and decide that food poisoning is the answer. Sure, it could be. I've had food poisoning before, and I went out to dinner with CG on Saturday, so it was something from that place. Of course, I'm completely overlooking the fact that dinner was at one of the only five star restaurants in town. That doesn't matter. Lots of five star restaurants give the patrons food poisoning??? Ok, now I'm stretching even farther than I should be allowed, but there's still a chance it's true.

I fall into bed, grab the book I'm currently reading when the second wave starts coming in, and this is when reality splintered my little fantasy land apart. "I'm sick. Damn...I really feel like shit. I don't even know if I'm going to make it into work tomorrow.", and as I start to get up to grab my blackberry to let the world know that I'm just going to sleep it off and take a day to get better the thing starts going off. Hmmm. I wish I could blame that on Spam, but we took care of that problem (who'd of thunk I'd be hoping for spam). I open it up and take a look at who it's from, and it's from my cellmate. The other guy on the IT team where I work, and of course, in true Murphy's fashion, has just wrote me a note saying he feels like shit and won't be in tomorrow. Damn. In the 5+ years we have been working together, there has never been the occasion when both of us have been sick at the same time. Guess there had to be a first.

Anyone in a support role understands what happens when everyone on a support team is sick. There ends up being someone at home being sick, and someone at the office, leaning against their monitor being sick. It sucks pretty much the same no matter where you are.

We might see a day with no support in the office...that could be challenging and exciting, in a Jack the Ripper kind of way.

"I am not sick. I am broken."
Frida Kahlo