Making a Million, Five Dollars at a Time.

This summer seems to be the summer of weddings, and also inversely the summer of divorces. Strange how those two seem to go together. No bitterman, not today. In correlation to the amount of weddings, the amount of bachelor parties rise along the same curve, so this past weekend I got to go to one for one of my buddies. As with any bachelor party they all start out fun and innocent, but all end at the same place, the peelers.

It has been a very long time since I've been to a strip joint, about ten years or so actually, and like some place that time forgot, it hasn't changed. This was one I had never been to before, but it might has well of been any other strip joint. As a matter of fact, there were only a couple of things that had changed since the times when I had gone to them. I should bring up a point here before anyone thinks that I was at the rippers all the time when I was younger. I liken strip joints to an amusement park. They're a lot of fun the first few times, but after you've been on all the rides, it's just not that exciting anymore. Besides, it is the ultimate exercise in frustration. As one of my friends put it, "I don't go to a buffet to just look at the food."

There were a couple of things that jumped out at me that have changed though, the male clientele not being one of them, so here is the list of the more noticeable differences that I managed to note.

Piercings - This is a cool new addition to the stripper scene. There weren't alot of girls with any hardware when I was a patron of the clubs, and seeing it now makes me smile. I like seeing the piercings coming in simply because it is something a little bit different, and by the way the crowd was reacting, accepted. Back in the day when a peeler came on stage with piercings it was like a sideshow event, and the girl was trumpeted up as one by the announcer, but last weekend, it was just part of the scenery. Nice. Now if I could only get away with a 0 gauge piercing at work, oh wait, I do. I wonder how one becomes that licentious announcer guy at the strip joints?

Female Clientele - Now this one, although not completely new, was something else. Women at the strip joint in my early twenties were either on stage, serving drinks, or there sitting quietly by their Significant other. This is not to be interpreted as a misogynist comment in anyway; it's just the way it was. I always gathered that it was a joke date, a couple living out some fantasy, or getting ammunition for their later romp. This weekend there was a couple of ladies at the club I was at. They were probably mid-twenties or so, and by far the loudest people in the club. Even louder than the aforementioned announcer. They were on stage with a five dollar bill for every stripper, often times multiple visits. They were both very open about their sexuality and having an absolute blast, although it didn't look like the one's boyfriend was. I thought that was very cool. Not the unhappy boyfriend, I really couldn't care less about that, but that the women were that open and having fun. Of course, probably outside the club they would be ostracized for that same behavior, but for a little while it was accepted, and encouraged. Of course the male clientele were probably just happy seeing something that they have only seen in movies and on the internet.

The Tattoo - you will notice that I wrote The Tattoo, and not just tattoos. This is probably one of the detriments of modern day strip joints, and probably not only strip joints, but you will get my meaning in a second. There is a certain tattoo that you can get which has been dubbed by tattoo circles as "The Stripper Tat". This tattoo is usually tribal in the background, with something over top, sometimes a flower, other times a gemstone, and sits on the lower back directly above your ass. Sure enough, I got to see up close and personal why this tat has earned its name. Every woman who came out on stage that night had one. If you had not gathered this from my past entries, I would qualify as what you would call a tattoo junkie. I have a very large collection of ink in my skin, and one thing that really irks me is when people get tattoos that are very unoriginal and uninspired. There are some very cool tattoo's that follow a pattern or placement on the body, but the stripper tat does not fit into this category. I've also seen some very cool ink on the small of the back, but every piece I seen on stage (pun un-intentional) could have all been traced from the same flash. Being a huge fan of ink, I really like to see women wearing it, but come on, think up something original and reflective on yourself, unless you want to be qualified as a stripper your entire life. I think the best summation of this idea is a quote from a movie I seen. "Might as well be a target." 'nuff said.

What have we learned from this latest experience? Well, unlike many people, the rev has nothing against strippers whatsoever, other than their choice in tattoos. We've also learned that strip joints, no matter how much time has passed essentially remain the same, and finally, I should probably watch the pretty ladies dancing on stage rather than sit there and try to come up with things to write about in my blog. I think I missed the point of the peelers somewhere along the way.

"I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience."
Shelley Winters