The End of the Whole Mess
All good tales start with "Once upon a Time". Seeing that we are at the end of the year, I figure it's time for a tale. Lets pretend that the last year was nothing more than a really screwed up story that was barely good enough for a made for TV movie and go forward from there. We're going to tell the tale of a person who got to experience all the bullshit he seen many of his friends go through that he thought would never get to experience. Not necessarily what you would call a set of great experiences, but they all go into the library to study and learn from over time. Let's see what we can sum up from the past year of bullshit, and where it's going to lead this fellow at the dawn of 2006. Here comes the standard disclaimer. This is not supposed to come out as a exercise in self pity, or even as some moralistic tale that anyone is supposed to learn anything from. Just the purging of a year of completely unexpected and strange circumstances that will mold and change this fellow's life in a very unique way.
Once upon a time there was a fellow who thought he was in a content and fulfilling place. Married for a few years, living in a large house, driving an expensive car and holding down a job that he enjoyed quite a bit. A common enough existence for one who has just bridged the 30 year gap. One fateful day in June he came home from work to learn that his marriage was over, the expensive house was no longer his, and he had stepped back to the age of eighteen having to find a place to live. He managed to rise to the occasion, found somewhere to live and get the hell out of where he was. It was not an easy process and more than once he found himself in a very rough spot, but managed to hike up his socks and get it done. He and a collection of friends got everything into the new place and the growing began. Not to say there wasn't a lot of growing pains, because there were, but eventually he dug himself out of the hole that he was put into and rediscovered the person that he used to be, albeit an older and slightly more mature version of himself at twenty. Very slightly. There were two paths lying in front of this fellow. We have all seen these two paths in our family and friends. One of these paths is filled with regret and bitterness, and the other is a path of self reflection and learning to live life for what it is. This fellow made the conscious effort to take the second and become a better person than what he was before the whole ordeal. Not to say that there aren't moments when he slips onto path number one and turns into a righteous bastard, but most of the time he stays positive and honestly believes that life can only get better from here. Sometimes it requires a push, but he always gets back to enjoying the moment and tries to make life more enjoyable for himself and the important people in his life around him.
Whew...That was quite the line of shit. Retrospectives in third person suck. Anyhow, I've learned quite a few things over the past year. You do learn who your friends truly are when you go through a traumatic, life altering experience, and I've learned that there are many people in my life who give a shit. It's one of those things that you always think is true, but it's nice have it proven to you. You also learn who you thought were friends, but actually aren't. Thankfully it was a small list in my situation that fell into the second category. This is the official thanks to everyone in the first list. You all know who you are.
So, what else have I learned...Life is entirely what you make of it. I always sort of had this in the back of my head, but never really lived it until now. Given the bullshit of the past year I can now see how low my life can sink, and yet I managed to turn around and appreciate the beauty of life in everything around me. Like I wrote in a past entry, it's like a blindfold was lifted from my eyes and I could see the world for what it was. That's not to say that everything was shit up to that day in June. I still carry around the good things from that period in my life, but now I can see what was important and use that to become a better person now. I'm not going to be bitter about it. As much as the end truly did suck balls, the journey was not horrible. It would be very easy for bitterman to take over and hate everything, but it's just not worth it. Life is too short to be bitchy and angry all the time.
There are probably more things I've learned, but it's not coming to me right now. The next year is going to be interesting. I've never really put much faith in the whole New Years, life renewing bullshit, but I think it's actually true this year. It's only true this year because I want it to be. Tonight will be the last of digging up the old shit. Onto the new shit. I think the new year is going to be one of a fairly fatalistic nature. Not all the bad points of living that way, but it's time to embrace the credo of "Tomorrow may never come, so live life to it's fullest today". There are some things that I have to take care of at the start of the new year to get me going down that path. I'm not going to tell you what they are, but you may get to read about them in future entries.
Don't worry readers, this entry was a one shot. Normally I don't write about stuff like this, but being year end I figure some kind of monumental entry was necessary. Call it therapy, or just wanting to start the new year off with a clean slate, but what's done is done. I'll be back to my usual sarcastic, sometimes witty self in 2006.
As the clock strikes midnight tonight, remember who you are, and take that with you into the new year. Be the person who you want to be, and not the person everyone expects you to be. Life is an amazing thing. Don't stand by and let it pass you by. Make things happen for yourself and don't let all the bullshit get you down.
I'm going to close off this entry by quoting one of my favorite authors. Mr. Douglas Noel Adams. It's a quote that isn't really related to this entry in the context of why and where it was written, but can be adapted to fit.
"Share and Enjoy"
All good tales start with "Once upon a Time". Seeing that we are at the end of the year, I figure it's time for a tale. Lets pretend that the last year was nothing more than a really screwed up story that was barely good enough for a made for TV movie and go forward from there. We're going to tell the tale of a person who got to experience all the bullshit he seen many of his friends go through that he thought would never get to experience. Not necessarily what you would call a set of great experiences, but they all go into the library to study and learn from over time. Let's see what we can sum up from the past year of bullshit, and where it's going to lead this fellow at the dawn of 2006. Here comes the standard disclaimer. This is not supposed to come out as a exercise in self pity, or even as some moralistic tale that anyone is supposed to learn anything from. Just the purging of a year of completely unexpected and strange circumstances that will mold and change this fellow's life in a very unique way.
Once upon a time there was a fellow who thought he was in a content and fulfilling place. Married for a few years, living in a large house, driving an expensive car and holding down a job that he enjoyed quite a bit. A common enough existence for one who has just bridged the 30 year gap. One fateful day in June he came home from work to learn that his marriage was over, the expensive house was no longer his, and he had stepped back to the age of eighteen having to find a place to live. He managed to rise to the occasion, found somewhere to live and get the hell out of where he was. It was not an easy process and more than once he found himself in a very rough spot, but managed to hike up his socks and get it done. He and a collection of friends got everything into the new place and the growing began. Not to say there wasn't a lot of growing pains, because there were, but eventually he dug himself out of the hole that he was put into and rediscovered the person that he used to be, albeit an older and slightly more mature version of himself at twenty. Very slightly. There were two paths lying in front of this fellow. We have all seen these two paths in our family and friends. One of these paths is filled with regret and bitterness, and the other is a path of self reflection and learning to live life for what it is. This fellow made the conscious effort to take the second and become a better person than what he was before the whole ordeal. Not to say that there aren't moments when he slips onto path number one and turns into a righteous bastard, but most of the time he stays positive and honestly believes that life can only get better from here. Sometimes it requires a push, but he always gets back to enjoying the moment and tries to make life more enjoyable for himself and the important people in his life around him.
Whew...That was quite the line of shit. Retrospectives in third person suck. Anyhow, I've learned quite a few things over the past year. You do learn who your friends truly are when you go through a traumatic, life altering experience, and I've learned that there are many people in my life who give a shit. It's one of those things that you always think is true, but it's nice have it proven to you. You also learn who you thought were friends, but actually aren't. Thankfully it was a small list in my situation that fell into the second category. This is the official thanks to everyone in the first list. You all know who you are.
So, what else have I learned...Life is entirely what you make of it. I always sort of had this in the back of my head, but never really lived it until now. Given the bullshit of the past year I can now see how low my life can sink, and yet I managed to turn around and appreciate the beauty of life in everything around me. Like I wrote in a past entry, it's like a blindfold was lifted from my eyes and I could see the world for what it was. That's not to say that everything was shit up to that day in June. I still carry around the good things from that period in my life, but now I can see what was important and use that to become a better person now. I'm not going to be bitter about it. As much as the end truly did suck balls, the journey was not horrible. It would be very easy for bitterman to take over and hate everything, but it's just not worth it. Life is too short to be bitchy and angry all the time.
There are probably more things I've learned, but it's not coming to me right now. The next year is going to be interesting. I've never really put much faith in the whole New Years, life renewing bullshit, but I think it's actually true this year. It's only true this year because I want it to be. Tonight will be the last of digging up the old shit. Onto the new shit. I think the new year is going to be one of a fairly fatalistic nature. Not all the bad points of living that way, but it's time to embrace the credo of "Tomorrow may never come, so live life to it's fullest today". There are some things that I have to take care of at the start of the new year to get me going down that path. I'm not going to tell you what they are, but you may get to read about them in future entries.
Don't worry readers, this entry was a one shot. Normally I don't write about stuff like this, but being year end I figure some kind of monumental entry was necessary. Call it therapy, or just wanting to start the new year off with a clean slate, but what's done is done. I'll be back to my usual sarcastic, sometimes witty self in 2006.
As the clock strikes midnight tonight, remember who you are, and take that with you into the new year. Be the person who you want to be, and not the person everyone expects you to be. Life is an amazing thing. Don't stand by and let it pass you by. Make things happen for yourself and don't let all the bullshit get you down.
I'm going to close off this entry by quoting one of my favorite authors. Mr. Douglas Noel Adams. It's a quote that isn't really related to this entry in the context of why and where it was written, but can be adapted to fit.
"Share and Enjoy"
posted by Reverend Moloquin at 6:11 PM
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